#194: Broken Bones & Holy Interruptions

Our first sukkah, a broken foot, and a reminder that curveballs aren’t rejections — they’re invitations. This week taught me about slowing down, showing up anyway, and finding joy in the middle of the mess. 🕊️

www.daraboxer.com

Transcript

Welcome, Sukkot On Our Minds

Dara B. 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome to The Raw on the Cooked, a weekly podcast that provides simple routines around the home plus raw and honest book reviews. My name is Dara. I'm a Midwestern stay-at-home mom to four young kids, and I thrive on simplicity. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode. I have recorded and re-recorded this introduction probably a dozen times, and I can't think of a good introduction of like how to introduce what happened this week. So I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna lay it out. My husband broke his foot this week, and it was, I mean, obviously no one plans to break a bone, but I wanted to tell you a little bit about it and just like the irony and like the joy that has actually come out of such an event. So this week and a little bit of next week, we are in the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, which is a fall harvest festival where we are just thanking God for everything, whether we had an abundant harvest or not so much. Either way, like it is just like we are thankful to God, we are showing up, and what we're doing as Jews for this particular holiday, we are building flimsy little huts in our backyards or our front yards, whatever. It's called a sukkah. And we are supposed to decorate it, and the kids make like decorations to hang from the roof of this like really flimsy little hut where you like drag a table in, you eat all your meals in there. It's like it's a really fun time. It's also a beautiful time of the year to be eating outside, so it's just like really fun. It's also one of those holidays that's like a step above where we are at, observance-wise. And so we've never built a sukkah, like ever. I built one as a kid, like my family did that. We were a little observant growing up, but as an adult, I've never built a sukkah before. But we are we are married with four kids, and we kept telling ourselves, like for the past like four years, we're like, yeah, yeah, next year, next year. So finally, I was like, no, no, no, like this is the year we're doing it. So we like called up all of our rabbis, like three of them came over with like tape measures and like blueprints, and like like helped us out to make sure that what we were doing is like kosher and totally approved. It was so exciting. And it turns out, lucky us, that our deck actually is like totally kosher. The only thing we needed was to like slap up a roof on like the top of a deck, move a table and chairs over, decorate it, call it a day. And I was really excited. My husband was really excited. The kids are excited because they learned all about this in school. So this was like the year we were finally going to do it. So my husband and I made two trips to Lowe's to get all the lumber we needed to like slap it on top of our deck, and then we decorated it. It was just, it was like exciting. Um, the kids had so many things that they had made from school. And so my husband's unloading my trunk and he had just brought in like the last slab of lumber onto the deck. We have three steps from the deck to the grass in our backyard, and on the last step, he just misses his step, tumbles down, falls, breaks his, breaks his foot. We don't know this at the time, obviously. So, you know, for the next five hours, we I help him out with like the rest, the ice, the compression, the elevation. But a couple of hours later, he just wanted to double check, like he felt like something could possibly be wrong. So I drove him to urgent care, got an x-ray, confirmed it was it was broken. So we followed up with an orthopedic surgeon the following day. Um, and yes, it is it is broken. However, the good news is as far as broken bones are concerned, it is the best of all worlds, right? He doesn't need surgery, the bone isn't displaced, he won't, he's not in agony unless he puts weight on it. Um, so really just like couldn't go any better. The only thing, it's gonna, it's gonna take some time, he's in a boot, he's wearing crutches, like it's a whole thing. Unfortunately for us, we have a very stair-heavy house. So um, you know, he he's he has to learn how to like navigate this. It's just kind of a mess. But anyway, the point of all of this is that we were so excited. Like this was our very first sucka. And um we last year when we had told ourselves like we missed the boat on like getting the supplies, getting all our rabbis over with like pencils and tape measures. Um, we went we we were driving all four kids over to a friend's house to eat in their suit in their sucka for dinner. And on the highway, our tire blew out. So we had to like turn around. It was like a whole thing, and it kind of ruined our I mean, it didn't like ruin it, but you know, it was complicated because it was the family van and that was out of commission for a couple of days. Like it was the whole thing was like kind of a mess. And so then this happens. My husband breaks his foot on the very first night of this holiday where we're supposed to eat dinner as a family outside in the suka. So, like, what's going on? Is this bad luck? Like, why does always something like this like always seem to happen like during events like this? And then I remembered that there's like this magical spiritual energy of Sukkot. It is a time of our joy. It's an as it's an especially spiritually high time because like right after judgment, we are stepping in to divine protection. And so it's it isn't about things going smoothly, right? It's about the joy despite the uncertainty, which makes it even holier. And it is a good way for us to be reminded that even when things feel like they're terrible, like God works magic in really unexpected ways. And so, like when something again like goes wrong, like you can't see, but I'm using error quotes like when something goes wrong, like right at the edge of something holy, it often signals that I think like really big light is trying to come through. I've always been a big believer, and I feel like most people would agree with this, that the bigger the light, the bigger the resistance beforehand. And so, like when huge setbacks like this happen, it is only because a huge amount of great light is to come. And so, like last year's flat tire, a broken foot this year, like these are not coincidences, and I also don't believe that they're punishments. I think that they're it's just a little bit of turbulence, like before this like big spiritual takeoff, especially a holiday like this where we are supposed to just like thank God and be just so grateful for the harvest that we've had in the past year. And so I also think it's really interesting because it's like forcing stillness and surrender and slowing down. And I really think that like when you're trying to go somewhere spiritually and like there's a little bit of a resistance, like God moves your feet for you. Like He literally, like in this case, like He's not moving his feet if anything. He's like taking away that movement. But either way, so I wanted to tell you a little bit about what's happening and how I feel like the timing of this is like absolutely perfect. Our older two kids are off of school for the next week and a half, anyway, for the Sucote holiday. So I don't have to get them out the door by 7:45, ensuring they're dressed, teeth are brushed, they've had breakfast, uh, backpacks packed. I don't have to make school lunches for the next week and a half. And we also decided it's just the perfect time to step it up with our kids. So after every single meal, they've always been really good about bringing their plates and cups and silverware and napkins up to the sink. They've been doing that since they were three. Um, they're now taking turns, um, either washing dishes or wiping down the tables and the chairs. And then the other one will sweep the floors afterwards. Um, they are we are getting in the habit of just like helping out way more, like we are, they are really pulling their weight around here. Um, sometimes that looks like my six-year-old making toast for everyone or finishing up and doing the breakfast dishes. My five-year-old has been helping me empty the dishwasher in the mornings, and he's also the water bottle liaison, making sure that everyone's water bottle is full. Um, and even my three-year-old, who noticed that the older two kids are getting a lot more jobs. And oops, sorry about that. I'm not gonna edit that out. I'm just too tired. So sorry. Anyway, um, my three-year-old is asking what his job is, and so I mean, I was like, I'm sorry, what? You want a job too? I was like, Yes, yes, yes, Atticus, here's a job for you. So I just think it's like amazing that he is watching his five and six-year-old brother and sister help out way more. Not that I mean my kids do like they have they've always had their set of chores, but like now that my three-year-old really wants to help out and get involved, I am just like all about it. And we've decided, uh, I've I bought like several hundred packs of paper plates, and that is what we are doing for lunches and dinners for the time being. And I have no shame because it makes my five-year-old's job of emptying the breakfast dishes and silverware in the mornings even faster and easier. And it's just what we're gonna do. I'm juggling babysitters and uh my cousin who lives locally, um, recruiting everyone over um around the dinner time because like dinner cleanup, bedtime rush can be insane. And so it's, and especially if my husband's completely out of commission, it's nice to have an extra pair of hands because there's a lot that needs to get done uh between dinner time and bedtime, at least when the baby goes to bed. And so that's been very helpful. And I just feel so grateful to have babysitters and family, and our other cousin had brought over pizza, so I didn't have to cook or do much, and which was great, um, because he's definitely not the type of person to help out with a child. So, you know, in lieu of that, pizza, which I'll totally take any day. And it's, you know, my my amazing friend who rushed over with her three-year-old to watch all four kids, so I could take my husband to an orthopedic surgeon, uh, giving her like an hour's notice. And it's just people showing up, and it's just so great. And I am so thankful to God that this is just an injury that requires time and nothing more. Um, it's you know, it's definitely a lot of work. My poor husband has to go up and down the stairs on his hands and knees. Uh, he goes up the stairs on his hands and knees, like our one-year-old, and he comes down the stairs on his on his booty. The older kids will help him with his crutches when he gets up or down or wherever he needs to go. And he's working from home for the foreseeable future, which, you know, is also another blessing because it means that there's a warm body in the house. And if the kids are napping or resting or watching a movie, I can pop in and out for errands and don't have to drag all four of them with me, which definitely would have been the case because he normally is in the office Monday through Friday, essentially. Um, it also means uh because the kids are off of school, at least for the next couple of weeks, I don't have to do much. Like there's not that much driving and logistics. And so this is just like it's kind of a gift. And I just feel like it's been good in the slowness and the forced stillness and the forced just you know, surrendering. It I feel like something really beautiful is going to come out of this. And I am a huge believer that God loves it when you show up anyway, even when things are a little messy and a little weird and not totally how you pictured it. And ironically, our first sukha, so our deck, the only way to access it is going down a flight of stairs. Uh, we have a door leading out of our kitchen, and it's a huge, steep flight of stairs, a full set of stairs down to the deck, or he would have to come through the front door, which is another set of steps. So he we he can't he can't access it. There's like, it's just not a good situation. So he's not eating dinner out there, and we don't want to not eat dinner with him or lunches. So we're not eating in our suka, which just feels like really, really sad and really depressing because we worked so hard and like it was just so exciting to finally have it this year. Um, so what I've been doing, I've been getting up a little bit early in the mornings. I've been having my coffee and sitting with my planner and my Bible and just reading. Uh, we have really fun string lights, and so that's kind of giving me the light until um I'm there until around seven, and that's when the baby wakes up. And so at least I get to enjoy coffee out there, which has been really nice. But um, yeah, that's sort of our situation over here. And I'm just so impressed and proud of my kids. In fact, it's been so good. I started handing them a basket of clean laundry, and I'm just like, hey guys, here you go. You can you can sort it into piles according to where it goes. You can un inside out pants and short and shirts and underpants, and please take them to the appropriate rooms. And they're doing it. It's kind of amazing. My six-year-old had asked me, she's like, Okay, well, when daddy is back on his feet, like, what is what are daddy's jobs gonna be? It's a really good question, isn't it? Um, but yeah, it's it's a lot. I mean, I'm helping him uh get his clothes, his pajamas, picking out his clothes for him in the morning because it just makes it a little bit easier with the crutches and the boot, and making sure that um his water is refilled and he I carry his coffee up for him and just like get him a snack, or like just you know, it's a lot so he doesn't have to like navigate the stairs with things and hands. It's just it's a lot. And I'm like now feeding our cat breakfast and dinner. We used to split that, so yeah, it's just it's it's just a whole new thing. And I feel like we pivoted and adjusted really quickly. We now have a new normal for bedtime, and um, it just feels like I I'm just really proud of us as a family for being able to shift and pivot as quickly as we have. Um, because again, it is really jarring to have two adults to four kids and having set roles and having an extra set of hands to help with the cleaning and the bedtime and the pajamas. Two of our four kids can't get in their own pajamas. And uh, I mean, you know, just if you have kids, you know, it's just kind of a crazy time of the day. So um to have one adult out of commission is kind of a lot, and it's you know, not for just like a weekend or like, you know, a three-day work trip. It's like potentially up to eight weeks, depending on how it heals. So, but you know, I I just I totally surrender and trust in God's timing. This is not how I pictured our first um Sukkot with a sukka, but I think it's exactly how God pictured it. And so I just I just really feel grateful. So I just wanted to share this episode with you, and um yeah, just wanted to encourage you that if you have your own curve balls, whether big or small, just look at them as invitations, not necessarily rejections. So thank you guys for tuning in, and I will um invite you back here next week.